He is an equal opportunity slut.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
