my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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