But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
