she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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