You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
