I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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