come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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