So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
