I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
