I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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