you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
