belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
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