I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
