i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize