so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
