We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
