apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
