i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
