it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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