I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
whose ass print is on the piano?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
