that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
