so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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