I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
people are starting to question the shark bite story
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
