Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
