Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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