what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Everything about him screamed your future.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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