like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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