do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize