I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
