You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
