My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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