Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize