Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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