walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
