I think I won the penis lottery.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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