she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
