I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
