We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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