do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
