Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize