god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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