i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
