I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Pants are for mortals
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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