yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize