I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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