Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
