I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
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