Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
