are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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