I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
