I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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