Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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