I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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