Where is the hickey?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
