Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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