Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
