Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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