grandma shit on top of the toilet
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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