I forgot how hot balto sounded
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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