Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
