i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
